Disclaimer: They're not mine. If they were, I doubt
this would ever happen.
Author's Notes: A huge thank you to Julian Lee who
not only insisted I could do this, but has listened to
every other rant I've thrown at her. And we would
both like to know why the President's daughters have a
thing for Amy. :)
And another quick note-I'm not sure how much sense
this makes, but it's the only scenario I can agree
with, so this is the one we play with.
Small Dose Insanity
By Perpetual Motion
There were times Zoey wondered if insanity was
something that occured in small doses. She was almost
completely certain that she was sane, except for one
tiny flaw where she wondered what it wouuld be like to
kiss Amy Gardner.
The basic idea of kissing another woman was a little
surprising. Enough so that Zoey had locked herself
into her room for a weekend with an empty notebook, a
package of pens, and the number for the on-campus
crisis hotline thumbtacked above her phone just in
case she needed to talk to someone. She had lived off
Ramen Noodles, Minute Maid Orange Soda, and
individually wrapped Sara Lee Muffins while she worked
out what the hell was going on in her head.
The first thing she wrote in her empty notebook with a
brand new pen was every reason she could possibly have
for wanting to kiss Amy Gardner.
She's interesting
She has a nice mouth
Everyone experiments in college
Underneath the list, Zoey wrote a question.
Do I want to kiss her because I want to experiment?
She stared at the page for a few seconds before adding
a second question.
Have I ever wanted to kiss another woman?
She added one more question.
Besides Amy, is there a woman I want to kiss right
now?
She chewed on her pen cap as she thought about that.
Did she want to kiss a woman besides Amy? Had she
ever wanted to kiss a woman before Amy? Zoey went
through a mental list of all the women she knew.
There were girls she went to class with-Erica, Karen,
Carol Ann-she was pretty sure she didn't want to kiss
any of them. She thought about CJ, Bonnie, Donna,
Carol, Cathy, and Gina, and she didn't feel like
kissing any of them, either.
Zoey wrote another question on a clean sheet of paper.
Does wanting to kiss one woman make me bisexual?
She chewed on the cap of her pen again while she
wondered. Did wanting to kiss a woman make her
bisexual or did it just make her curious? Zoey
finally sighed and reached for the phone. Part of her
was silently screaming that making the call was a bad
idea, but she didn't know who else to call. At that
particular moment, a faceless voice from the crisis
line wasn't what she needed. She counted three rings
before the phone was picked up.
"Josh Lyman."
"Hey, Josh."
"Zoey!" He sounded happy. "How's life?"
"Confusing." Zoey took a deep breath. "I have a
really big, kind of odd,
you-can't-tell-my-parents-about-it question."
There was a pause. When Josh spoke, his voice was
concerned and a little hesitant. "You okay, Zoey?
Did you get hurt?"
"No."
"Did Charlie-"
"No!" Her voice was emphatic. "This has nothing to
do with Charlie. This doesn't even have to do with
men."
"Okay." Josh's voice was now neutral. "What is it?"
Zoey took another deep breath. "Is a person bisexual
if they want to kiss only one person of the same sex?"
A very long pause halted the conversation. Finally,
Josh formed a question. "Why are you calling me about
this? Why aren't you talking to your parents?"
"Because you are my self-proclaimed 'big-brother-if
you-ever-need-one', and because I don't want to. I
know they'd understand if I *was* bisexual, but I
don't know if I am." Zoey felt tears in her eyes.
"Please, Josh."
Josh sighed. "Damn, kid. Okay. Let me think a sec."
There was a short silence. "You only want to kiss
one woman?"
"Yes."
"You don't feel the urge to kiss any other woman?"
"No."
"Can you picture yourself having sex with this woman?"
"No."
"You just want to kiss her?"
"Yes."
"Would you break up with Charlie for her?"
"No."
Josh got quiet again for a moment. "Zoey."
"Yeah?" She swallowed against the knot in her throat.
"You have a crush."
"What?" Zoey knew she said it louder than necessary,
but it felt like the right thing to do.
Josh didn't sound fazed. "You have a crush.
Something about this woman is attractive to you, and
instead of just admiring her from afar, you feel the
need to kiss her."
"Wow."
"Am I that good?"
"No. I think you have it completely wrong."
The disgust in Josh's voice was faked. "Glad I could
be of assistance."
Zoey laughed a little. "I just don't think it's a
crush. I know what a crush feels like. This is
just-something different."
"Are you always this confusing?" The exasperation was
real.
"I'm not trying to be."
"I know, kid. Did I at least help in the tiniest
bit?"
"Yeah."
Josh sounded happy again. "Good. My work here is
done. Do your homework and brush your teeth, and when
you figure this out, talk to your parents."
"I will. Thanks, Josh."
"You're welcome."
Zoey hung up the phone and flung her notebook across
the room. ~Screw it. It'll work out how it works
out. Even if it means kissing Amy.~